Oblivion
by Aya Dormouse
Summary: Oz grows fond of his servant's presence at night, but how does he feel when Gil suddenly stops visiting?


A/N: Just a one shot I thought up. Please review!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Pandora Hearts! Pandora Hearts belongs to Jun Mochizuki.

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><p>It had become something Oz Vessalius expected, no, <em>needed<em> night after night. His heart was calm, beating in tune with his servant's as he found peace behind his eyelids. Gil would lower himself into the chair near his bed after he thought his master was asleep. Sometimes he'd run his fingertips over Oz's cheeks, the bridge of his nose, or reach over and place his hand over the seal on his chest. The blonde would pretend he's asleep, forcing his breathing to stay slow as he willed himself to stay awake just so he could savor the moment for a while longer.

Truth be told, the seal _terrified_ him. But Gil didn't need to know that; it'd cause him even more pain. Sometimes he found himself desperate for affection, willing the day to turn to night so he could feel Gil's presence. Every once in a while, he'd wake up and check whether his servant's seat was still warm, hoping Gil had stayed with him all night. And sometimes, rarely, it was. He'd wanted to confront Gil about it, but he didn't want to ruin it. The reason his servant came to him after nightfall was because he wanted to stay hidden in the shadows. He'd lean his ear to the crack in the door before sneaking in to keep an eye on his master. Oz confronting him was not a line he wanted to cross because he was sure once he did his nights would never stay the same.

As long as Gil was there with him, watching over him with those golden eyes swirling with despair and concern, he could sleep. He slept so soundly he almost regretted it in the morning, wondering if he missed an affectionate touch. He worried that Gil didn't sleep nearly enough, spending his nights plagued by thoughts of _him_. It hurt him to know how much his servant cared for his well-being. He was grateful, so grateful he'd often feel a bittersweet gush of emotion toward the other that he wasn't quite able to name. His chest would _ache_, his throat collapsing, his eyes stinging. But he'd smile, the ache a _good_ ache, one that made him shiver as he struggled to breathe momentarily.

Tonight he lay restlessly, damning the ceiling for his frustration as his eyes refused to stay closed. His body shook in irritation. He didn't know when Gil had started coming into his room, but he sure as hell knew the day he stopped.

Oz turned to his side, sighing audibly. He was worried. He didn't understand why it had been days since Gil's last night in his room. He wondered if Gil gave it up for something more entertaining than himself, or if he'd somehow offended him.

He was afraid of crossing the line. By talking to his servant about it, then he'd be admitting that he _knew_ of Gil's nightly activities. Is that something he wanted to consider, or should he just let Gil come back on his own one night as he feigned sleep and waited?

It crossed his mind to slip into Alice's room, but there were too many implications to that. It would feel _wrong._ Despite his loneliness, he had spent many nights until now sleeping with Gil beside him... and even if he gave that up Oz would honor him by staying alone. He sighed again; when had he become so dependent? Hadn't he slept alone for the majority of his life?

He wondered idly if it wasn't just simply _Gil_ that he missed, rather than the presence of another human being.

The blonde sat up, his muscles relentlessly fighting to keep him conscious. He grabbed a robe before slipping out of his bedroom and into the moonlight illuminated hallway.

_There._ He could see smoke billowing through the panes of glass on the balcony doors. Frustrated by lack of sleep, and maybe a bit peeved at his servant, he decided the line just simply _didn't matter_ as long as he could find relief.

"Oz," Gil greeted him, surprised. Immediately, he extinguished his cigarette in the ashtray of the table behind him. "Why are you awake?"

"I could ask you the same thing." He wanted to ask him why he wasn't inside with _him_, but he couldn't find the words.

"I just...couldn't sleep." He wasn't facing him now, he was leaning outward over the railing.

"Do you _ever_ sleep, Gil?"

He paused, regarding the blonde carefully, "Why are you asking?"

Oz sighed. He wasn't quite sure where he wanted to go with this. He stepped up to the balcony, resting head on his arms in his deliriously tired state.

"Gil, did I do something wrong?" He'd finally confronted him, but those nights were already ruined.

There was silence then. He continued to rest his eyes, assuming the silence was Gil grasping the situation for what it was as he heard him shift slightly next to him.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Oz."

"Then why -" He stopped, suddenly aware of how stupid it would sound to ask Gil about this. '_Then why did you stop watching me sleep at night?' _He would've chuckled had he the energy. How strange that sounded to voice. Gil had to be lying, anyway, he must not want to tell him.

He thought back to the night the other stopped visiting him, wracking his memories for a clue. He realized it had been the night after they escaped from Cheshire's lair. But what did he _do_?

"Oz, if it really means that much to you I'll follow you in. Just go to sleep." Oz felt his servant's hand ruffling his hair.

Well, this was worrisome. It was clear Gil was hiding something from him. And no, he couldn't sleep like _this,_ wondering anxiously what happened to offend his servant that day. He groaned. His body felt heavy and he was so _frustrated_ and he just wanted the other to be straightforward for _once_.

He had barely even been with Gil in Cheshire's lair. They got separated, only meeting up momentarily with Jack before being separated again. Was that it, was he upset that he couldn't protect him? Or was it something he'd done when they were together? But he'd only talked to Jack about protecting Alice – _oh._

No, this was not something he could deal with. Was Gil _jealous_? If so, what was he supposed to say? It's not like he was lying about Alice; she really was his sun. But he _had_ left Gil out... or rather it could have sounded as though Alice was his only important person.

He _did_ love Alice and maybe they could've been something more but as soon as he realized Raven was Gil he'd completely forgotten about anything _else_ they could've been. He remembered suddenly his own duel with the green monster of jealousy when he found out Ada had made a move on Gil. He didn't quite know why, blaming it on his master complex.

"Oz...?"

He'd spent the last few nights awake, wondering what Gil's hands would feel like on his skin with_out_ the gloves, what it would feel like to pull Gil toward him so he could join him in his restful oblivion...

He glanced to his side, cheeks blaring with heat (glad that it was dark) to see his servant watching him expectantly. He couldn't deal with this right now. Why did Gil have to make everything so _complicated_ without even trying? He was content with the affection he'd feel at night as he slept. It'd been so peaceful and simple. But now that there was _hope_ in the jealousy the other felt toward Alice he couldn't keep his thoughts at the same level.

He stared into that now confused golden gaze, trying to calm his racing heart. That _feeling_ was back and his chest felt heavy. He took a step forward, almost delighting in how uncomfortable Gil seemed to become. They were only a person-width apart. Gil avoided his eye contact, confused and blushing at the sudden attention.

"O-Oz... what-"

"I just want to try something."

"Try... something...?"

Oz didn't answer. He stepped forward a couple more inches until they were almost touching. The other was still, nervous. He reached up, keeping his expression unreadable as he pulled Gil's neck down to his level. He briefly wished it were light enough for him to properly see the blush on those cheeks. Gil stared at him as he leaned in, Oz's breath fanning across his lips and they were almost touching...

Then Oz pulled away, taking a step back toward his original spot. He'd gotten his answer and it was just as he'd feared.

"Oz." Gil's tone was serious, almost annoyed.

"Gil," he started, talking quietly and looking away as he mumbled the embarrassing words, "if Alice is my sun then you... you are my moon. But you're more than that, Gil," and suddenly he was angry. "I can't sleep when you're not there and I can't _stand_ the way you touch my face like I won't be here tomorrow and how you don't _sleep_ because you're too worried about me and how I've grown to _like_ how you touch me and I just -" He just _what?_

But he didn't have time to think about it because Gil's ungloved hands were on his face, wiping the tears that had streaked lines down his cheeks. He didn't even realize he was crying.

And Gil kissed him. The ache in his chest gave a painful throb and he tried to pull away but those lips were so _insistent_ and he loved it. He loved everything about that ache, the softness of those lips, the tongue that explored his mouth, those delicate hands tangling in his hair, the choked feeling in his throat...

He'd get used to that feeling, he thought, as Gil lowered him to the bed. He refused to let go. He finally crossed that line, wrapping his servant in his arms and willing him to join in his wondrous oblivion.


End file.
